Troubling Similarities

            There’s this ring I found while cleaning my closet.  It’s sterling silver—or used to be.  It’s coated in the dust of only one color: grey.  It looks so small, I couldn’t imagine it actually fitting any of my fingers, but to my surprise, it fit my ring fingers perfectly.

While handling the ring, grey dust (or tarnish, I’m not sure exactly what it was) rubbed off on me, but not to any significant amount of help to the ring itself.  I found this mostly just messy at the time, but quickly became curious as to what the ring underneath looked like. 

                I began to polish the ring using a sterling silver polish.  The damage of the tarnish was deeply settled into every crevice, the metal of the ring itself.  So I polished it a second time.  This time, it was as good as it would get.  I put the polish away, and went to clean myself up.

                Afterwards, I realized there was still a lot of tarnish, deeper within the designs that I had not noticed before.  This time, I used Q-Tips, toothpicks, anything small that could get into small areas.  However, even trying as hard as I could, only some of the tarnish lifted away, and mush still remained in the most intricate designs.  I came to an acceptance with the fact that no matter how hard I tried, the ring would never be as shiny as it had once been like brand new sterling silver to me when I first saw it, and that the deepest tarnish will always remain, despite my efforts, for my neglect. 

I suppose you'd have to be me and have walked in my shoes for the past 8 months to understand where I'm coming from.  This ring I found, is not just any old ring.  This ring is symbolic to the destruction of a wonderful friendship I once had.  Destruction of my eternal happiness, destruction of my heart in it's infancy.  At least, that's what this ring is to me. 

It would perhaps be to my benefit to apologize to my dear friend.  In doing so, I think I'd like him to have this ring.  I don't know what he'd do with it, as I know it won't fit any of his fingers.  But I believe there's something interesting about this ring, how it came to me and reflects so accurately what had happened, and what I could only hope will happen after I formally apologize for what I myself have done.  Forgiveness:  It does not come easily, and does not come quickly.  I don't know what our forgiveness will look like yet, but I'm guessing it will be similar to the state of the ring, a mere tolerance but not a completely washed and polished silver ring like it used to be.  The friendship will probably have this dull fog over it's surface, and deepest inside, where no polish can reach, the tarnish will remain in the most vital organs.

Goodbye Old, Hello New

Greetings visitors,

I am new to blogs.  So far I'm figuring, ye cannae go wrong.  It appears to be somewhat like keeping a diary.  I can do that (I think!).  I come here as an alternative to Facebook, where I'll be deleting my account because, in short, I am one of many who are sick and tired of Facebook's ways. 

Nethfëa= YoungSpirit.  It is english to elvish, chosen mostly because I am not very creative when it comes to constructing names.  Why I chose young spirit specifically was due to my age.  In my childhood, I was extremely sheltered, and in person I am very much an introvert.  I can write to more detail about that later, though, but this name is chosen because some of my ideas or thoughts may not sound all that reasonable or well thought out at times.  Bear with me.
I do hope to write comments to readings I've done in my college classes, and might eventually share my works here as well.  However, I may at other times just write from my current thoughts, emotions, events, yadda yadda.  My hope is that my writings and thoughts will become better developed and more thought-provoking as I use this space more and also get older and experience more through college.

Until next time....